Where have i been for three years?

Not that I think you care, but, I’ve been in what i would call = nowhere land.

It’s now the middle of 2026.

I have had an eventful period of living since 2023 based on my health or lack of it and have been unable to search my mind for anything relevant to write.

I have lived with a monster = called pain.

Pain has ruled my time for the last three years. Though i have been trying to be active (without Painkillers) my days are often impeded by the sheer exhaustion i feel, just doing the minimum everyday tasks.

I have finally decided that somewhere along the way i lost me.

Not just with writing but with living. I simply allowed my body to run the show – not always a good thing.

I have the luxury of time (so to speak, since I’m hovering over my seventh decade) i ask myself why am i wasting it.

I can only say i don’t know why.

The miasma of pain is not a valid excuse (though i made it one). It’s a constant companion, has been for fifty odd years . Nothing new – you say. To my mind i should be strong enough to cope.

I don’t think I’m being too hard on me – i watch other people deal with worse issues and they prevail.

Why am i writing this today?

I’m looking out at the glorious misty bushland i live in and feeling the weight of mortality. Finally feeling the urge to record my thoughts.

I’m feeling the passion for life lighting up my heart ,mind and soul again, it’s just a flickering flame that I’m glad has not extinguished.

I realise that i will prevail.