Why does the word “News” always sound so positive?
This news has rocked the very foundations of my life. And not in a good way.
Those foundations are all based on a life with my husband of 42 years. It’s silly I know to say that, but I based this comment on the shitty childhood I had, and the continuous support he has given me, since we met at the age of 21.
So what is this devastating news that I refer to?
My hubby is very sick, and possibly dying ( and though I try to be optimistic for the sake of our children) 10 melanoma lesions on his brain and possibly on his liver, do not in my experience lead to a long and happy life together.
Am I Broken hearted? That’s putting it mildly.
The Dr took us into a private room at the hospital (you should always be wary of Drs’ taking you into a quiet zone – it’s never good news.) I remember thinking Do Not Go Into This Room! I looked at the compassion on the Dr’s face as she told us the “news” and wanted to hit her – for breaking my children’s hearts.
She said that the Melanoma he had in 2016 had spread to his brain and possibly his liver. And that the prognosis for survival was dire, a matter of weeks.
Just how? I ask you, am I supposed to take this “news”?
All through the day with Nurses and Dr’s coming and going and looking at us in a kindly manner – my anger built. Watching my children (though now adults) sobbing at the thought of their lives without a father – my anger built. But I held on.
I held on until we were outside. Until, the fresh, crisp, air hit my lungs. I breathed out with a moan that changed into a roar. I didn’t care who was there or where I was, my poor kids didn’t know what to do. Sounds melodramatic but I couldn’t hold it in.
The funny thing was, I felt better. More able to cope. Now we go to the next chapter of our lives.
KJS Writing 