2020 is the year of my emancipation, both physical and psychological.
Definition of emancipate. transitive verb. 1 : to free from restraint, control, or the power of another especially : to free from bondage.
The first is my emancipation from the past. I am finally free from the power my very dysfunctional family had over me. To be honest most of that was my fault as I kept hoping for change. You know – when you wish and hope for something that you really know can never be? But then, all of a sudden you realise the futility of your wish and just stop. The last vestiges of my families negative behaviours have gone and to be honest I feel incredibly settled and content – no longer frustrated with the “what if’s”. I now feel free to love the people that love me and I find I can live with the loss of my siblings and parents.
The main reason for this? I think is the fact that I had a very big health crisis.
At the end of last year I was told I needed my neck fused or I would be a quadriplegic with in a couple of years.
Well, I can tell you that puts everything into perspective. You stop wasting your time on keeping negative aspects of life and start focusing on your future.
This was my second reason for my emancipation. The surgery has released me (for the most part) from a crippling disability. I am amazed by the restrictions I was suffering BEFORE my diagnosis of OPLL. I simply thought that this was my lot as a severe osteoarthritis sufferer, my future was bleak and whilst I tried to be optimistic I can honestly say I was wavering.
Post surgery I am totally amazed at my body’s changes. Very little pain and a lot of physical energy. And that’s only 3 weeks post surgery. The other day I stood on a Bindi, it really hurt and I was ecstatic – why? Because I could feel it – I have been numb from the waist down for nearly a year.
As you can see, I have been emancipated from several levels of pain.
KJS Writing 